11.13.14

Choosing The Right S Word In Your Relationship

Posted in Encouragement, Encouraging Christian Resources, Encouraging Sermons at 8:49 pm by Administrator

There are two major “S” words that color and characterize every relationship. One “S” word is “selfishness” and the other one is “sacrifice.”

Whenever a person permits their selfishness and self-centeredness to predominate in their relationship, they doom their relationship to tension, disaster and failure.

Ben Stein’s How To Ruin Your Love Life is a witty and helpful book about the little things that can destroy a relationship and marriage.

Here are some selfish attitudes mentioned in How To Ruin Your Love Life:

  • “Know your wishes are the only ones that matter in any situation.”
  • “Live your life as if only your feelings count!”
  • “Never admit you’re wrong or apologize in any dispute.”
  • “Never be grateful for the gifts you get from your lover.”
  • “Talk about yourself exclusively.”
  • “Don’t for a moment let your lover believe that they’re valued just for themselves.”
  • Let it be known that you consider affection to be a chore.”


Never allow the brazen selfishness of this world to prevent you from sacrificing for your mate.

Whenever a person permits sacrifice to predominate in their relationship — obviously a relationship with the right saved person, they bless their relationship by causing it to benefit from the following glorious principles:

  • Sacrifice eliminates tension in a relationship because it puts in check a person’s ego which always wants to have things its way.
  • Sacrifice sweetens the atmosphere of a relationship because it touchingly displays love-in-action to one’s mate.
  • Sacrifice strengthens a relationship because it sets in motion the principle that says that in blessing your mate with concern and sensitivity, you cannot help but to reap blessings yourself.
  • Sacrifice elevates, deepens and dignifies a relationshop in that it causes a person to value the notion that giving is far more important than receiving!

What Do We Really Mean By This Word “Sacrifice“?

The word “sacrifice” comes from the Latin word “sacrificium.” “Sacer” means “sacred” or “holy” and “facere” means “to make” or “to do.” Therefore, sacrifice means that you consider your relationship so sacred and important until you are willing to make the needed adjustments for its continued success and survival.

The act of sacrifice is sacred in a relationship because it seriously reflects what God did for us in Jesus Christ.

  • “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16).
  • Note that the above verse clearly mentions the giving component that is involved in all genuine sacrifice (“He gave His only begotten Son”).
  • To sacrifice is to give!

    Give your undivided attention to the one you love.
    Give compliments to the one you love.
    Give affection to the one you love.
    Give gifts to the one you love.
    Give your precious time to the one you love.
    Give your forgiveness to the one you love.
    Give priority to the one you love.


Once is not enough! If a word, gesture or activity pleases your mate, then it is worth doing over and over and over again.

Husbands and men in a serious relationship, never underestimate the power of a flower!

“Every husband and wife needs to sit down and meditate on the thought: ‘My partner married me because she or he thought the pleasing things I was doing during our courtship would continue for the rest of our lives. Am I holding up my end of the bargain?’ ” Willard Harley, Jr in His Needs, Her Needs

Agape love, the highest form of love, always has another’s best interest at heart.

“Agape love is defined and driven by self-sacrifice. The measure of love is what you are willing to give up for it.” (Our Daily Bread: “What Love Is)

Please know that sacrifice requires a profound pronoun shift! That is to say, sacrifice occurs when you give up the “I” and the “me” in your relationship, and focus on the “we” and “us” in your relationship.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.” Ephesians 5:25

It should plainly understood that while a relationship may barely survive when one member sacrifices, a relationship will truly soar when both members sacrifice.

Ask yourself this question:

Which of these ‘S’ words characterizes your relationship? The ‘S’ word that stands for “selfishness” or the ‘S’ word that stands for “sacrifice“??

Be Encouraged,

Evangelist Manuel Scott, Jr.

(Adapted from an excerpt from Evangelist Scott’s lecture, “The Importance Of Keeping It Fresh”)

Related Blog Posts

Dating Advice For Christian Singles

A Word For Couples

Related Christian Resources By Evangelist Scott

The Importance Of Keeping It Fresh lecture

Sister, Does Your Man Pass The Test? lecture

All Things Work Together lecture

Related Sermons By Evangelist Scott

“Things That Will Wreck Your Home”

“Decisions That Won’t Hold Water”

“Be Careful Of What You Put In Your System”

Additional Christian Resources:

His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley is an outstanding treatment of how the needs of men and women are significantly different.

Love Is A Decision by Gary Smalley is a Christian classic that should be read by all married couples, and those persons intending to marry.

How To Ruin Your Love Life by Ben Stein

Our Daily Bread: What Love Is



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